The Loudest, Rudest Opinion Isn’t Winning — It’s Getting Paid

Online platforms reward outrage and confident rudeness with attention, and attention is the currency that decides what gets seen. So people learn, consciously or not, that being sure and being harsh outperforms being right. Research on online civility backs this up directly: incivility spreads faster and gets more engagement than measured disagreement ever does.

The same pattern shows up away from a screen — at parties, family dinners, group chats. The person who talks the loudest and interrupts the most isn’t usually the one with the best point. They’re just the one least worried about being wrong in public, and a room will often mistake that lack of worry for confidence, and confidence for correctness.

Mistaking volume for correctness is one of the most common and least examined forms of arrogance there is, mostly because it never announces itself. It just feels like winning the conversation.

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